As an adult reading this, I assume you have a good idea of what I am talking about (however, I hope this adds to you knowledge); I do not mean young adult mind you. Well, if you are a young adult, you might have some ideas depending on how young you are as an adult, how old you are as a youth, or how much life experience you have.

The experiences that life serves on our plate, what we can call life drama, especially when it involves family, makes one sit down and contemplate on whether family should be treated preferentially, or placed where everyone else belongs – in the ‘HEY! WATCH OUT!!’ part of our hearts.

When I say family, I mean family, nuclear or extended. Father(s), mother(s) and sibling(s), related by blood in one way or the other. I am not talking of friends or colleagues that get so close and get free passes into family circle. Not that this latter class of people cannot be called family in the broad sense, but I am talking family in the blood sense. From childhood to teenage years, we grow up been loved by our parents or guardians and our siblings. The love flows naturally. Part of the love, is being scolded by either of or both parents, uncles, aunties or elder siblings. After all, after the beatings and harsh words comes the gifts and pampering, so it is not a big deal, it is something we get over some way.

When we get older, I am talking of after teenage years. We begin to see our family members for who they really are. Sentiments are put aside and life drama tables experiences that unveil facts and findings about family members. Somehow, you discover daddy’s dirty secrets; the stench of the skeletons in mummy’s cupboard is not longer staying within its confinement. You realize your elder sister is promiscuous, or your uncle once had his way with a cousin of yours. These facts and findings can go on and on, and can be very unpleasant, shocking and disappointing. Mind you, you are family too, facts and findings are being gathered about you too.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying all families or family members are unclean, neither am I being negative. We are humans, and we are all working towards perfection, family members are humans too. At the moment we realize this imperfection in family members, that is when we get to make that harsh decision of where to place them. If you had passed the stage I call the ‘Who They Really Are’ stage, I hope it was not too hard coming to terms with your facts and findings about your family members? I want to hear your experiences, kindly use the comment section, I will be happy to read from you. If you have
not, the next paragraph is important for you, print this page out, cut the part out and paste it somewhere or keep it in your wallet.

Consciously or unconsciously, family may harm us, ignore us, abuse us, gossip about us, embarrass us in public or do very bad things that hurt us and seem impossible to forgive and/or forget. However, there is the stage I call the ‘Family Afterall’ stage, at this stage life drama brings to your table situations and experiences only special kind of people will stay back to support and help you get through. At this stage, you realize there are things only family can do, vested in them by the ‘power of knitted bond’, fuelled by memories of time spent in past, past little sacrifices and favours.

I do hope it makes some sense now to say, ‘Family is like everyone, but not everyone is like family’.

52 thoughts on “”

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